June 09, 2017

Not safe for work (or home, or the nation, really)

Things I learned from today's press conference:

You're welcosorry. (Original image here, and wow.)
1) Trump didn't do it, but even if he did, it would have been totally fine if he did, which he didn't
2) Trump doesn't know the difference between "over a short period of time" and "in a short period of time" i.e., the word "soon"
3) Trump can't go more than five minutes without mentioning selling something
4) Trump can't go more than ten minutes without mentioning the election
5) The current president's ability to let promises fall out of his liehole include prick-teasing the Democrats that he will actually testify under oath
6) When scared, Trump will turn to the nearest powerful man and attempt a joke
7) When everyone pays their fair portion to fund a business agreement, it's called burden-sharing. I was taught that it was called "taxes."
8) Trump can't stick to his talking points without at least one personal attack
9) "Tune in tonight to see if there are "tapes!" Ya Fired!"

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