June 01, 2012

Effigy: A Love Story

Me: Don't forget to take the rent over to the office.
Bacon: I'll do it on my way to work.


Me: Seriously, don't forget the rent.
Bacon: I won't.
Me: It's raining, and I'll be working and I'm not going to remember...
Bacon: I'll do it, honey.

A little later...

(calling Bacon's cellphone)

Bacon: So, I totally forgot the rent.
Me: Yes.
Bacon: I'm sorry, I was thinking about work and I didn't see it--
Me: On the table, where I left it, in the envelope.
Bacon: Yes, because you are wonderful and awesome and I didn't do it on purpose and I'm sorry and I forgot and I'm sorry.
Me: I'm going to build an effigy of you now.
Bacon: I forgot.
Me: Beat it up, set it on fire, maybe wee it out.
Bacon: It's raining, isn't it.
Me: YES.
Bacon: Sorry. Very sorry. I'll kill myself immediately.
Me: Before you do, start thinking of ways you'll make it up to me.
Bacon: (laughing) Yes ma'am.
Me: (losing her anger and getting annoyed by it) I'm laughing, but I'm serious.
Bacon: Okay. I know. Massage.

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