[Last night, watching a documentary on Stonehenge]

Me: Oh, my favorite part: the weird solstice-y people coming in to feel the stones and commune with Xenu. 

Bacon: Which is dumb, since it's not all that pagan.

Me: Stones. Solstices. Beards. Pagan.

Bacon: It's a Neo-lithic structure.  Built by Neo-lithic peoples.

Me: Po-mo pagan?

Bacon: Waaay before pagan. Pre-po pagan.

Narrator: "There's no telling how the stones actually got to Salisbury Plain..."

Bacon: Psssh.  I bet they used kites.

Me: Like, 50,000 kites?

Bacon: One giant hoverkite.

Me: That they borrowed from the aliens in the pyramids:

"TCKCKC?" Can we borrow the hover kite?
"Luuuluuuu" For what? 
 "KKAAAKKK" A henge. 
"Llllloooollua" Sure. It's in the shed. 
"TCKTCK" Thanks. See you at the barbecue.

Bacon: There were no aliens in the pyramids. (pause) I bet it was the Atlantians.

Me: And how did they get all the way to England?

Bacon: The hoverkite! Geez, honey, keep up.

Me: Those pyramid aliens sure were nice neighbors. Wonder why archaeologists never unearthed a hoverkite.

Bacon: That's the kind of thing the pre-po pagans want to keep under wraps.


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