February 05, 2010

Rap Recall Friday

Tonight, a Very Special video from the golden era when Janet and Michael were completely interchangeable.



“Alright” - Janet Jackson

You guys, it can only be a drinking game.

Intro is called out as a shameless ripoff of everything Fred Astaire did, ever, including that awful one about Faust – 1 drink

Street scene is called out as the same one used in Dick Tracy (1 drink), 227 (3 drinks), or that original series episode of Star Trek where Kirk and Spock are gangsters (2 drinks)

Someone names the Star Trek episode – 2 drinks and a DORK!

Janet’s choreography is less calculated dance move, more desperate need to pee – 1 drink

Janet’s bagel-innuendo sex face – social!

Improper use of bullet points, signage, spelling, grammar in general (including the song title) – 1 SIP per offense

Cyd Charisse still looks fucking good – a toast, drinking optional.

Janet does something morally upstanding, to show she’s for the kids – 1 drink

Janet does something mildly illegal, to show she’s a badass – 2 drinks

Any time you think, or even think of thinking, “wait, WHY, again?” 1 SIP.

Someone you know went to prom in a zoot suit – 1 drink

It was you – 3 drinks and a shot

You start singing “Escapade,” not realizing this is supposed to be a different song – 2 drinks

A begrudging “OK, that was kind of cool.” – 2 drinks

Someone confesses to doing that hanky dance in middle school – 1 drink

Janet “advances” the “plot” by “acting” – 1 drink and hearty laugh

Hidey-hidey-hidey ha joke – slap offender

“Is that the Roger Rabbit or the Running Man?” – 2 drinks

Guy on roller skates causes flashbacks to the “Bad” video – 1 drink

Cab Calloway trots off looking for Curious George – social!

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