October 21, 2009

Don't Panic

When you undergo a job change, you're immediately over the platitudes. You don't really have an ear for the "I'm sorry"s or "that sucks"es and "something'll come up"s--or even, in my case, the well-intentioned "good for you." I'm not thinking about the future. I'm thinking about rent.

Chaos makes us planner-types itchy. After five minutes of sitting flat-palmed and perfectly still at my desk, I made lists. I filled out copious applications, called previous employers, and generally dealt with the fallout of the first irresponsible decision I've ever made. It's amazing how fast your priorities change. Wednesday I wanted a wraparound porch; Friday I wanted clean hair.

But, good for me. Good that I decided to walk out on an employer because his behavior was intolerable, and good that I learned what is and is not acceptable in both my daily and working life. Bad that I have no money, bad that I had no backup plan, bad that I just found a winter coat I want and my proposed paycheck leaves me exactly $10 post-bills. But good for me, that I have people who love me who won't see me starve. Good that I found a job that will allow me to keep sleeping indoors--one that I actually enjoy. Good that I have a chance to reflect. And ass-gropingly awesome that I no longer have a boatload of office-induced stress about which I could not give less of a shit.

Here I go. Good for me.

4 comments:

Tessannes said...

Excellent!

crdrue said...

I'm trying to imagine the incident that pushed you over the edge...

Sarah Smallwood said...

Dude, you wouldn't even believe it. But for the tightness of my pants, I am a much happier person.

dwoogi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.