AJ: Was that you laughing?

Sarah: Yeah, Goldfinger’s on.

AJ: Ohh. Which part was it?

Sarah: Just the theme song. “Gooooold fing-aah!”

AJ: “He’s the man! The man with the Midas touch!”

Sarah: You know the words!

AJ: The words aren’t that inspired. Later it rhymes ‘Goldfinger’ with ‘Coldfinger.’

Sarah: Lazy.

AJ: Yeah, the lyrics are for shit. Haven’t you seen it before?

Sarah: Yeah, but the first time I watched it was with one of my exes, and I couldn’t get the song out of my head. We went to sleep, and every few minutes one of us would go, “Gooold fing-aaah!”

AJ: Well, like you do.

Sarah: Right. So the next three days we’d creep up on each other and sing “Goooold fing-aaah!” and then laugh like morons.

AJ: That might be the first positive story you’ve ever told about an ex.

Sarah: Well, we did actually have fun occasionally. There’s that one, and then there’s the video game thing.

AJ: What video game thing?

Sarah: He used to get up crazy early, even on weekends—

AJ: I don’t understand that.

Sarah: Me neither. But if he didn’t have to work, he’d sit on the edge of the bed and play his X-box. There was this one, I forget the name of it, but the character you play is called Snake. When you die, the little voice-over guy goes “Snake! Snaaaake!”

AJ: Nice dramatic reenactment.

Sarah: That’s what it sounded like! And he wasn’t very good at it, so he died constantly. Six AM, every five minutes: “Snaaake!”

AJ: Anyone woke me up at six AM for a video game, I would have hit him with a lamp.

Sarah: Right? So one day, after lying there not sleeping for an hour, I waited for the ‘I’ve been shot in the head again’ music and then rolled over and threw the blankets over his head, shouting “Snaaake, SNAAKE!”

AJ: HA! Awesome.

Sarah: Yeah, he eventually thought so.

AJ: Still, I wouldn’t get up at six even to do something I enjoyed.

Sarah: In a relationship, you take your alone time where you can get it.

AJ: You’d get up early to play video games?

Sarah: Actually, I did get up early to play Myst.

AJ: …Um.

Sarah: I don’t think I was in a relationship at the time, though.

AJ: Maybe because—

Sarah: I got up early to play Myst, yes, thank you. Also, shut up.

AJ: If I could get up early, I’d go to the gym. Sadly, my alone time isn’t as important as sleeping.

Sarah: Well, when you’re seeing someone, you have to get up early to, you know [looks around] get stuff done.

AJ: HA! I love how you looked around the room like, “What is it I do, again?”

Sarah: Writing, that’s what I meant to say.

AJ: Hee. “I know I have all this stuff for a reason…”

Sarah: And you and I would both probably have to get up early to read; some people take it personally when you read a book in front of them.

AJ: Only weird people, who aren’t readers themselves.

Sarah: Baffling. I had to sneak the Harry Potters here and there during one relationship, but he was a late sleeper.

AJ: See, that I can get behind.

Sarah: Yes, but I can read a book in front of you. And frequently start writing before you’re awake.

AJ: Our relationship has finally galvanized into couplehood.

Sarah: It was really only a matter of time.

AJ: I think you should carry the baby.

Sarah: I’m far too busy with all my stuff. That I do.

AJ: All right, I’ll leave you to get back to your stuff.

Sarah: Thank you.

[AJ leaves. typing resumes…]

AJ & Sarah: ‘Goooold fing-aaaah!’


Mamaclsn said…
Metal Gear Solid. It holds a special place in my heart. My favorite sound byte is "What was that noise?", which again occurs every 5 minutes. Good times.
Dann Rafferty said…

(throw stun grenade and hide in a locker)

"Return to your positions!"
Dann Rafferty said…

and I forgot to cue the sharp violin note with the "!"
Mamaclsn said…
Yes! Oh I have to get it now...
Sarah Beedoo said…
Riiight, MGS. I also hated the weird synth-y closing music, which, again, happened every time you died. Although I suppose it would have been harder to sleep if he were playing Mario. Whoop-wa-hoo!
J-Ro said…

LOL, I am going to give you flashbacks.

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