April 04, 2008

IM what IM

Dibble: How would you classify "Lord of the Rings" ?
beedoo: um… “something so done I can’t even make a joke?”
Dibble: No, genre-wise. It’s not sci-fi.
beedoo: Oh, fantasy. If you're ever not sure, do a dragon check.
Dibble: So what’s "Lost in a Good Book" ?
beedoo: Fantastic Fiction: the rules of the current universe are in effect, in the present time, but one element makes it fantastical. I read an article.
Dibble: Ohh, ok. I like those a lot; they hold my attention. Regular fantasy doesn't float my boat enough to stay afloat. Float my boat enough to give me hope?...hold the Pope?
beedoo: hitting the pipe, that's what yer doing. why are you floating the pope?
Dibble: I dunno; he can walk on water, I don't know why I'd bother.
beedoo: the pope isn't jesus; the two are not interchangeable. they don't even go to the same parties.
Dibble: He isnt invited to Jesus's keggers. The apostles give him swirlies. Must think he’s the shit now..."who's the dork NOW, Apostle Peter!!"
beedoo: Yes, because the pope is 2,000 years old.
Dibble: Is there a Peter? I dunno
beedoo: yes, there's a peter. and a paul, and a mary.
Dibble: HA! "if i had apoooooostles..."
beedoo: "i'd lead em in the mooooorning"
Dibble: “give ‘em fishes in the eeevening”
beedoo: "all over jerusalaa-aaaam"
Dibble: HAH!! WE are awesome.
beedoo: And going to hell. Awesomely.
Dibble: Wow. The ghost people on Sci-Fi do it for free.
beedoo: aw, they pretend to see ghosts and they don't even get paid? criminal!
Dibble: SHUT IT!
beedoo: hey, when's Matlock on, Dib? After the pet-whisperer?
Dibble: *deep threatening voice* NON-BELIEVER
beedoo: *beedoo’s voice* simpleton.
Dibble: Matlock was dumb. Quincy, now, he's the shit.
beedoo: never said he wasn't. although Danny's is a dumb name for a bar.
Dibble: maybe it was the guys NAME.
beedoo: you don't have to name your bar after yourself.
Dibble: was the name of the bar Cheers in Cheers?
beedoo: um, Cheers
Dibble: that’s what I asked
beedoo: yeah, but you made it sound all "grant's tomb." you know the dumbest bar name, tho?
Dibble: like I know...Ted Danson wanted to sleep with everyone, Norm had a dead liver and I don't like what’s-his-name creepy from Tarantino movies
beedoo: cliff claven?
Dibble: no no--natural born killers dude
beedoo: oh, woody
Dibble: yeah him
beedoo: very different movie with john ratzenberger in it
Dibble: *snorts* yeah cliff “pixar’s bitch” claven scares me
beedoo: i dunno--the ghost show scares you. maybe his mustache is quite threatening in nightvision
Dibble: “mmuuuuustache...”
beedoo: “braaaaiiins...” did I tell you my vegetarian zombie joke?
Dibble: hee! “graaaains”
beedoo: HA! so funny.
Dibble: hilarious
beedoo: anyhoo, dumbest bar name?
Dibble: um lemme guess...."liver alone"
beedoo: whose bar is that?
Dibble: "drink til you fight"
beedoo: that's an AWESOME bar name
Dibble: great, its my bar name; I copyright it
beedoo: i mean fake bar, a TV bar. worst real bar name would have to be "Lions, Tigers and Beers"
Dibble: oh UGH
beedoo: it's a sports bar. in detroit... get it?
beedoo: which: clever, but how do you actually go there and not feel like an asshole?
Dibble: right I couldn’t go there
beedoo: "yeah, we're meeting up at lionstigersandbeers"
Dibble: What Cleveland’s? "Indians, drunk men and guns?"
beedoo: "drew carey slept here?"
Dibble: HAHAHA!!
beedoo: anyhoo, back to my question...
Dibble: dumbest bar name, like FAKE bar?
beedoo: yes. twenty points if u get it.
Dibble: oh what?
beedoo: i'll give u a hint: "come and knock on our door..."
Dibble: threes company?
beedoo: yeah, what's the name of the bar?
Dibble: oh crap
beedoo: phone a friend
Dibble: the something-something
beedoo: yes!
Dibble: oh man it like right in my brain… not piggly-wiggly…
beedoo: you are sooo close!
Dibble: dammit, I forget. what is it?
beedoo: like a dog with a crown on
Dibble: dog with a cro....REGAL BEAGLE
beedoo: YES! sooo stupid!
Dibble: LOL how is a beagle regal? It sounds like a Chuck E Cheese.
beedoo: that’s why it’s stupid! how do you drink at a place that has ‘beagle’ in the title? the beer could be made of boobs and nobody would go there!
Dibble: um, neither would i. gross.
beedoo: you know what I mea--OMG! NKOTB is going to be on the today show!
Dibble: why?
beedoo: yes, i just typed NKOTB; that just happened
Dibble: um, again…
beedoo: they're on a reunion tour.
Dibble: oh sure...Donnie there?
beedoo: yup. not even kidding.
Dibble: wtf?? he has a CAREER! little bro should talk some sense into him.
beedoo: yeah, Marky Mark is overflowing with good sense. giant crucifix, anyone?
Dibble: oh right--he’s a nutter.
beedoo: yup, friends with the pope.
Dibble: Who is not Jesus.
beedoo: well done.

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