August 15, 2007

Bay City Tech

[phone rings]

ME: Hello?

SOOZ: Hi there!

ME: Well, hello!

SOOZ: How’s it going?

ME: The kitchen’s stacked with dishes, I left raw chicken on every available surface and the carpet’s on fire.

SOOZ: Oh, good.

ME: Naw, none of that’s true. Well, the chicken thing—

SOOZ: What?

ME: Has been taken care of.

SOOZ: As long as I don’t see it, I don’t care.

ME: Just what I told the hookers. They punctured the waterbed, but on the plus side, we’re up rent.

SOOZ: So how’s the kitty doing?

ME: Better. She’s bouncing back—well, hobbling really, but she’s back to a color that you would naturally find in a cat.

SOOZ: She’s eating and everything?

ME: Wet food, by the barrel. She has another appointment Saturday, so I don’t know if I’ll be up there that night or Sunday morning.

SOOZ: Well, we’ll be here.

ME: Yeah, I was going—

[sound of rotary phone dialing]

ME: Um, what are you doing?

SOOZ: Nothing, I think someone’s dialing out.

ME: Well, we’re on the phone.

SOOZ: I think they’ll figure that out. [calling into other room] Mom, are you on the computer?

[computer sign-off music sounds]

GRAM: I know, I know! It was me! I tried to get on-line!

SOOZ: Yeah, we heard it dial.

GRAM: Yah, and I knew you were on the phone, and I thought ‘well, she’s in the other room’—like not even thinking that they’re connected, you know.

SOOZ: It’s fine.

GRAM: It didn’t kick you off?

SOOZ: No, she’s still here. You want to talk to your Grama?

ME: Sure.

GRAM: Hi Sarah.

ME: Hey Gram.

GRAM: Jeez, I knew she was on the phone—

ME: I know.

GRAM: Hee. Wasn’t thinkin’.

ME: No big. What’s going on?

GRAM: Well, Susie and I are going to do some running for a steam cleaner and a new phone.

ME: What’s wrong with the old phone?

GRAM: The battery dies! I had it on for five minutes and I called Mary and—beep! Cut out right in the middle of talking to her!

ME: Sure it’s the battery?

GRAM: Yes, it won’t hold a charge! So I need a new battery or a new phone, you know, whichever.

ME: Sooz and I just got a new phone; it wasn’t too expensive. My old one kept dying, but Dad gave it to me, so y’know.

GRAM: How much was it?

ME: Fifteen or twenty, something like that.

GRAM: Oh that’ll be okay then. I was worried they’d make me buy a whole new kind, with games on it, you know.

ME: Games? You don’t—do you mean a cellphone?

GRAM: Yah, a cellphone.

ME: Oh, I meant a new cordless, for the bedroom.

GRAM: Oh. No, it’s a cellphone.

ME: I didn’t know you had a cellphone.

GRAM: I got it the year Grampa died.

ME: So it’s pretty old.

GRAM: Seven years old.

ME: Right. Yeah, I bet you need a new one. Are you on a plan?

GRAM: A what?

ME: Are you under contract with the company?

GRAM: I don’t think so. I walked in and signed up and I got the phone for two years.

ME: Yeah, that’s a plan.

GRAM: But I don’t have it now. It was just for two years.

ME: Right, so you can leave them if you want—

GRAM: Oh I don’t want to leave!

ME: No, you don’t have to.

GRAM: They never sent me anything when the two years was up, though.

ME: Well, they wouldn’t. They’d want you to stay with them and not switch.

GRAM: Well, I did. But if the two years are up, they’ll still give me a new phone, right?

ME: They should. I don’t know if it’ll be free, but they’ll have new ones.

GRAM: That’s what I mean; I don’t want any of the ones that play games or take pictures, I just want a phone.

ME: Don’t let them tell you you need anything else.

GRAM: Oh, Sarah I won’t.

ME: I know you won’t. Gram?

GRAM: Yah?

ME: Can’t wait to see you.

GRAM: Oh. Hee!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

AWWWW! Kiss my Gramma for me!