Hello, Limbo

Time: Last night
Place: My apartment, the couch, flipping through channels

AUNT SOOZ: Oh, look, it’s War of the Worlds. Again.

ME: Ten HBO channels, only one thing on.

AS: I watched a little of it this morning, too.

ME: Are we watching it now?

AS: No, I just want to see where the church splits down the side.

ME: Um, ok.

AS: The movie was dumb, but I liked the effects.

ME: I think that was the point.

AS: There goes the church. I dunno; I love they way they made the church crumble and--

ME: Coll-APSE?

AS: What?

ME: Collapse. Apse. Church joke.

AS: …I guess.

ME: C’mon—apse? When else in life was that joke going to work?

AS: It didn’t really work now.

ME: Maybe I should have leaned on the ‘apse’ a bit more—

AS: No, it just wasn’t all that funny.

ME: What? APSE? COLL-APSE? That’s hilarious!

AS: You should a-SPIRE to do better.

ME: Wow. I been Sunday schooled.

AS: Ha! Anything else? Belfry?

ME: I can’t make it work. Stained glass? Benediction?

AS: The Body of Cruise?

ME: Eucharist?

AS: ‘Passover’s too easy.

ME: I think we’ve gone conceptual; it's more about the actual structure.

AS: Pew? Gargoyle? Bricks?

ME: Bricks could be anything. I really wish ‘pulpit’ worked; I love that it sounds vaguely dirty.

AS: Or ‘buttress’.

ME: Hee... yeah. I feel like we’re missing a good Pope joke.

AS: We could do “Holy Smoke,” but it’s not on fire.

ME: Alas. I can’t quite get CATACalySM to work.

AS: Oh, shame, that would be awesome. Or, hey: “Look—the separation of chuch and state!”

ME: ...where’s the ‘state’?

AS: The ground. State. Like, New York, or wherever.

ME: Eh, it’s a stretch. I would have laughed at “separation of church-and-something,” though.

AS: ‘Church and street?’

ME: Yeah, that’s good.

AS: ‘Church and slate?’ Like, the foundation?

ME: You should quit while you’re ahead.

AS: Any off them is better than your crappy ‘apse’.

ME: You can kiss my apse.

AS: Weak.

ME: I know. It MITER been funnier. Geddit?

AS: I’m changing this now.

ME: Why? Aren’t you inVESTMENTed in it?

AS: Oh, NO.

ME: C’mon, that one was just for you! I thought, “I need a good one that won’t slip right PASTOR.”

AS: Stop while I still let you live here.

ME: OK. I’m done. (pause) You win.


ME: I’ve lost my nave.

AS: Get out.


matthew aaron said…
Ms. Beeboo,

I am so glad that you enjoyed the skeksis reference - be on the lookout for my Dark Crystal-inspired post-punk Blue-Eyed Soul band, "Skeksis Midnight Runners." I am sorry I missed you when I was back in town because I was running around the state like an asshole, and I'm sorry I've not emailed you to catch up in so long, as I've been running around this state, also like an asshole, in a state of panic befitting of, no surprise, an asshole. I will talk to you soon, I am glad you're diggin' the drone!

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