Auuld Laaang Syne (hic!)

I couldn’t let yesterday’s little note be my last entry of the year—it lacks a certain amount of ceremony. However, I am not really feeling up to writing a Very Special Entry for the holidays, as I caught some kind of cold from the little urchins that circle around my extended family (not yours, Jen; the weird ones). So, I will give my list of hopes and goals for the new year, and go over a few things that I accomplished over last year. I’m feeling good (if not at all well) about this, so let’s get going.

Outgoing Year 2005:

I do not live in my mother’s house anymore. Hopefully, never again.
I have a fantastic job, which I have held for a year now.
I have done only domestic traveling.
John Spencer died. That was hard.
I have lost twenty pounds (and not gained it back).
I have bought home furnishings.
I have read more books than any other non-school year.
No car accidents, broken bones, or deaths in my family.
I have made new friends.
I have inspired others to exercise.
I realized I hate knickknacks and anything without practical value.
I cooked something from scratch.
I have had one marriage proposal (not serious), and one indecent proposal (totally serious).
I was supposed to have my 5-year high-school reunion. Didn’t happen.
I have bought pants in an eight, and worn pants in a ten.
I realized I don’t do enough of anything, and do too much of things I shouldn’t.
And on that note…

Incoming Year 2006:

I will learn French, that I may speak it in Paris.
I will do more yoga.
I will take a class.
I will see Europe again.
I will reach my target weight.
I will brush up on my guitar.
I will have more sex this year than last year. So basically, I will have sex this year.
I don’t think I can be a nice person, but I’ll try not to be mean.
I will submit writings on a weekly basis.
I will, will, will get published this year. Somewhere.

Also, I will read the following books:

The Outsiders – Hey, I never read it in high school.
She’s Come Undone – Heard it was disturbing.
The Little Locksmith – Heard of it on Gilmore Girls
Girl – Again, with the disturbing.
Wicked – My little sister told me to.

That’s not the whole list, mind you. I don’t really have a morbid streak or anything, these are just what I wrote down that sounded interesting. Anything else I should read (or skip completely)? Tell me about it. Although, if you really rail against something, I might have to read it anyways. Like Heart of Darkness. Such is human nature that, if I actually went on my hour-long tear about how nobody should ever have to read this book, you would probably run right out and get a copy. Which you should, because after you read it, you will then tell all of your friends what a psychotic waste of time it is, so they can read it. I think we could apply this to our advantage… Hmm. Homework for everyone: Go home tonight and tell the first person you see not to rent Muriel’s Wedding. Tell them it’s the worst movie ever made. See if we can get record numbers of this movie checked out overnight. This movie, by the way, is the very same my family will cite when they need an example of a truly terrible movie. So I actually saw the thing eventually (in college; I’m not your typical little monkey who runs out and gets movies because someone tells me not to) and it’s really not all that bad. No Oscars are getting near it, but it’s watchable. Unlike Papillion. Never watch Papillion. Ever. If it’s the last movie in the store, go home and… do absolutely anything else, because whatever you choose will be a better use of your time.

I will try not to be such a hater. Although I’m betting my spiteful, voracious anger is what keeps me young.

Have a Happy New Year, everyone. See you in the 0-6.


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