October 31, 2005


I was going to do a very special Halloween entry, but I got caught up in some work, and only got around to posting now. So I will save the very-specialness for tomorrow, when I will recap my family’s Halloween party. Speaking of the day, do you find yourself without a costume with only two hours left until trick or treating? Well, in the spirit of my sister the Costume Copier, here are all of the costumes I have worn over the years (that I can remember, lest you think I am only 16 years old). Go ahead; steal one, I don’t mind.

Beedoo’s List of Halloween Costumes Past:
In Approximate Order

A Clown
A Cheerleader (Shut up. I was three.)
Pippi Longstocking
A Hillbilly
Phantom of the Opera
Freddy Kreuger
A Witch
Scarlett O’Hara
An Amazon
A Harlequin
Old West Prostitute (I really don’t know.)
A Vampire
One Sexy Devil
A Moulin Rouge Can-Can Dancer
Lucille Ball

And this year: Rosie the Riveter

I should mention that my sister has eschewed the costume plagiarism this year after all, and crafted her own, original idea costume idea. I think she’s a Viking. I can tell you for sure tomorrow, but I hear tell she’s even getting a big red beard. See? It’s more fun if you do it yourself—all of it yourself, I mean. The power of creation. It’s like playing God on an incredibly small scale. I get crazy with my costumes every year—I have an entire closet full of them. I have hippie stuff, some vintage, and bunch of old prom dresses, but it’s mostly old Renaissance Fair outfits (Hey! Don’t you hate on me because I look good in a corset. I didn’t ask for these giant boobs, and considering the tremendous strain they put on my back, I’ll be damned if they I don’t make them work every once in a while). I have a reputation as a sew-er (Is that right? I don’t mean ‘sewer’, so… sewwer? I dunno. Huh…weird), so I usually end up finishing or mending bits of somebody’s costume at the last minute, and occasionally doing people’s makeup. I have tried to keep my costumes economical the past few years; not only because I am the broke-itty-broke-broke, but also because I will undoubtedly be called upon to help someone else with their costume, so mine can’t take longer than 5 minutes to put on.

Damn, Halloween is fun. We should all have the day off work. That way, I wouldn’t have to finish the last few bits of my costume at my desk. It wasn’t anything egregious; I used a bare minimum of office supplies, and I needed to use the color printer anyway. So, just that and the three hours of time I was paid to be here, working. It took so long because Rosie has some sort of button on her lapel, and for the life of me (and that of the internet, which holds all information except this one teeny little fact) I could not figure out what it was. So I decided it was a union button, and proceeded to make myself my own damn union button, with paper, a glue stick, card stock, a picture of a woman with a forties hairdo, and packing tape. It’s awesome. I don’t care if I win the costume contest, because I put so much effort into my accessories, I know that I did a really amazing job. And I’m not just saying that because my brothers are going to win, because they won’t tell anyone what they’re coming as. I can’t wait to get out of work.

Compounding my happiness is the fact that my friend Kate (I can call you my friend, right? We’re cool?) is coming tonight, to find out just how nutty my family really is. I told her we mainly sit around drinking and playing board games every night, but she genuinely made it sound like that would be fun for her. I think she just wants to experience the truth behind the legend—like seeing Bigfoot with your own eyes. I hope we’re not too boring. I hope the house is clean. I hope nobody embarrasses me. I always freak out wanting to make a good impression, and I hate it. It’s too much for people to meet my family all at once—I have to deal with them once a week, and I usually need a nap afterwards. Another reason I don’t date: I will never bring anyone home to meet my family. Ever. I’ll tell them I’m an orphan. An orphan princess. Hey, maybe that’s why I was so into Pippi. Anyhoodle, I can handle the stress if I take deep breaths and remind myself of the fundamental rule behind family gatherings: there will be alcohol. That’ll help. In any case, I will be surrounded by friends and loved ones, so I am going to have fun, and that’s what matters.

Wow, how after-school special. Don’t Drink and Drive, kids!

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