September 30, 2005

In the Beginning...


Oh, do I feel silly.

It’s my own fault, though. I never should have told people about my blog. I knew it was a mistake, but I was proud of the work that I was doing, and now I’m cheating on that blog. I’m a dirty cheater. I feel like I’m shoplifting. But I needed a way out, and this was all I could think of.

Here’s what happened: I started writing a blog, and pretty soon my entire family had gotten wise that I was doing so, and so they felt a need to read it everyday. My sister even started one of her own. This was ok; I believe in creative expression. Some of them definitely could use a healthy outlet.* But now my blog is under a spotlight, and I am afraid to write anything that will offend any one of them, which is tough, since there are about 17 of them, and all my stories are about them.

I was inspired to start blogging by some friends of mine—writer friends who since have moved away to become famous—and I take small strides toward their realized glory by typing while my boss’ door is closed. Such is the life of those who have student loans. Also in this borrowed time, I began to read others’ pages, and was mightily impressed with some online diarists, one of whom is Pamie, who writes a mean blog and a hilarious book. She inspired me to get my own page and write every day, no matter what. I don’t know if I can be as funny (and if I can, it won’t be as often), but everyone needs to start somewhere. And writing, as far as I’ve learned, is about starting over every damn day.

Man, I love being able to swear. Not that I have a habit of it, but it’s a sweet freedom to know that my grandmother won’t be emailing me later about my pottymouth.

Back to my quasi-point: I will write everyday. I will be here, even if you aren’t. If you are, though, and you would like to tell me so, my email is posted on my profile page—do tell me what you think. For the Lazies: it’s
heybeedoo@hotmail.com.

I’m Beedoo. I’m sure you already got there on your own, but hey.

I’m excited about this, truly. I’m crap at commitment, but I will make the effort. I believe prevention is better than a cure, so I already do a lot of boring daily things that people tell you you should do, like take vitamins, exercise, and drink water.** I also shun the “shouldn’t”s. like watching TV, overeating and drinking sugary beverages, which I think are really icky anyway. I do sleep in, though—it’s a vice I can’t kick, since it has no calories and is too easy to rationalize. But I need to stop being so damn lazy. I want to be Picasso, with 300 thoughts running through my head at once. Books and writing. Input and output. This is my new life.

I am celebrating with a haircut. You can bet I will tell you how it goes.

* Remind me to tell you about my family sometime.
** Which you should totally do. Really.

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