Crafty Blogger: Making a Laptop Sleeve

After much deliberation, I bought a MacBook Air. I say "deliberation," but mostly mean "eating of my own words," since I have long been opposed to the slick world of aluminum computers with cartoony interfaces that are so easy to use it's impossible to eff it up. As a PC user, I saw effing it up as the natural course of personal computing. Alas, I could no longer deal with the (lack of) power options and slow movement of my PC. Hypocrite? Sure. Hipster? Maybe. But being online in six seconds makes it pretty easy not to hear the objections.


Said new laptop needed a sleeve, since I am one of the clumsiest people living. A very nice lady at my favorite cafe and workspace let me have one of the burlap coffee sacks, as it was too holey to reuse.

I washed it, sliced it into bits, and chose the orange logo for the front of the sleeve.


A trip to JoAnn's netted me some yellow felt for the batting, a bright orange patterned fabric for the lining and a yellow zipper (that I didn't use).


I saved the bigger, more colorful pieces for another project. Pillow covers? Not sure yet.


All measuring was done using the laptop itself, since I was paranoid that it wouldn't fit at the end. First, I laid the laptop over the double-layered felt, leaving about an inch and a half on each side.


Next, I pinned the burlap to the front and back sides, making sure they would be right-side-up when the bag was folded in half.

Then, sewing.


The back panel had to be pieced together due to fraying and aforementioned holes. I liked the look of the crest and recycling logo, and I decided I didn't care about the back seam. The important thing was to keep the front logo as centered as possible, which I did a lot of flipping in and out to accomplish.


I was going to use trim along the bottom, but I though when pinning that the yellow felt would look pretty cute peeking out on the bottom edge. Not bad from the remnant bin.


Next, I turned the sleeve inside out on the bottom fold and pinned the sides, leaving the laptop inside for paranoia and to make sure it would slide out again. Sewing.

As a nice bonus, the burlap sewed incredibly well. I expected to wrestle with it, but was pleasantly surprised.


Next, I made an envelope out of the liner fabric and inserted it into the bag right-side-out. At this point, I started to feel like the liner was wasted by not being seen and decided to scrap the zipper, folding the liner over the burlap and hand-stitching it down.

It's snug enough that it doesn't need a closure, but a toggle or strap could easily be attached. The whole thing took about two hours without a pattern. I've used it about a week, and it hasn't disappointed!

In which I am crazybags

New post on AnnArbor.com, wherein I admit to having a case of The Crazies and hope my friends don't look at me differently (though, if they haven't up to this point, we're probably good).

30 Before 30: Living with an Anxiety Disorder

Comments on the story online give you good karma!

Notes on the Royal Wedding

The Wedding of Prince William & Catherine Middleton


Harry has become the looker of the family.  Who knew the little prince who was born looking like Alfred E Neuman would sprout into Colin Firth?  MeeeeOW!

Catherine Middleton is pretty.  I don't remember ever seeing her before this day, but she's nice looking.  In fact...

There is no need to gild the lily.  She is so pretty you don't have to make the obvious dress parallels to Princess Grace, stylists.  She's royal: we got it.

I'm not the only one who noticed.  Right as she gets to the altar, William smiles and looks proud--but Harry seems to be, I dunno... not leering, exactly, but definitely lingering on the lithe form of soon-to-be-Mrs.-his-brother.  Could be the fact that they've dressed Harry in all black with caution-yellow bondage gear, so I could just be painting him with Richard III overtones.  Maybe. 

Prince William has a lovely voice  I never thought he was particularly dreamy, but I had also never heard him speak.  His clipped accent is the lovechild of double-cream and a bassoon--a weapon he's never really had to pull out, understandably, because of the whole "you're a princess if you marry me" thing.  It's a shame he'll never have to work in this life, because he could make a killing as a voiceover actor.

It's a good thing I wasn't invited.  For several reasons, but most notably because I got a serious case of the church giggles 1) at the mention of the Holy Ghost and 2) at the Bishop/Vicar/Officiant's mad-scientist miter-hair.  Yes, I'm five, and there's not a frilly Ascot Hat big enough to hide my inappropriate laughter.

The Queen is a lot like my dog.  Old, nearly blind, naps when she pleases.  This is my new goal in life.

Church is always boring.  I really wish all those masses I attended as a kid had YouTube slider bars.  Three minutes after loading, I could Amen-it to the pancake brunch.

Cate has a much better poker face than I do.  I assume she has people coaching her on all things princessy, because whereas she seems to dislike the tedious church readings as much as I do, I can see her catching herself before rolling her eyes.  William must be of the same opinion, as his reaction is to take very long blinks.

... but she can't unpause it.  William is nodding off a bit (understandably, since this ceremony is three hours and several months of news coverage too long), but he at least reacts when the Bishop/MiterMan brings it home.  Cate... seems to be frozen in Botox propriety mode.  I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and call it nervousness / proximity to her new Nan, the Effing Queen.

'Jerusalem' will always make me think of Calendar Girls.  Speaking of, why is Helen Mirren not here?  Wait, there she--oh, it's Camilla.  Oh, well.  Nice that she got invited, though.

It was pretty cute.  All right, I'm not made of stone.  Will & Cate seem to like each other, his smirking his way through the vows was pretty damn endearing.

Madagascar: Beware the Vanilla Bearcat

Sarah: What is this about, now?

Bacon: Madagascar broke from India and Africa, so everything there evolved specifically to suit the island. All the wildlife was marooned. There are species there that don't live anywhere else.

Sarah: Like the Kardashians?

Bacon: No, like the giant mongoose.

Sarah: Dude. I've seen a mongoose. It was the size of a ferret. That shit is a bearcat.

Bacon: It's just really big and superadapted.

Sarah: Into a bear-nosed giant sloth.

Bacon: ...-Lion.

Sarah: See? Mongoose my balls.

David Attenborough: "A still greater predator lurks in the marshes."

Sarah: The hippotiger!

Bacon: The crocobat!

Sarah: Eh. It's just a lemur. Doing... Tai Chi.

Bacon: Nothing is normal there. Nothing.

Sarah: Seriously, it's like the wild kingdom version of Lord of the Flies. Two ton ferrets!

Bacon: The fish swim upside down!

Sarah: No they--oh my god, they do. And they're blind.

Bacon: And the lemurs eat plants full of cyanide. And live!

Sarah: I feel like there's a cure for everything on that island. Plus vanilla.

Bacon: Which is a cure for ice cream.

Sarah: And unsweetened catbears.

Bacon: I wonder if the mongooses eat the fish, or just the lemurs.

Sarah: It's part bear, it'll eat anything. It'd eat you.

Bacon: Bacon doesn't go with fish.

Sarah: It goes with scallops, though. And shrimp.

Bacon: Those aren't fish, those are sea insects.

Sarah: Delicious sea insects.

Bacon: Icky sea monsters.

Sarah: Yes, I do believe that old-timey maps had pictures of shrimps in the margins.

Bacon: Yarr, Thar be scallops herrrre!

Sarah: Are you sure you were looking at a map, and not a Long John Silver's menu?

Bacon: Well, there was a pirate on it.

"Ahhhh, Salmon Skin Roll."

Latest AnnArbor.com column, in which our heroine plumbs the depths of her femininity by punching innocent people and having her toes painted. A typical day in the life, really.

30 Before 30: Fight Face and Fancy Feet

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Michigan - snow = heaven

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College! W00t!

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One of the least sad stories involving death you'll read today

I attend Bacon's grandmother's funeral, and it goes differently than expected.

30 Before 30: Life at a Funeral

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In which my boobs make an appearance

New post at AnnArbor.com, in which the chubby girl loses weight and takes her clothes off for the camera.  Sadly, she doesn't know she can make money this way, and becomes a barista instead.

30 Before 30: A Whole Nude Me

Comments welcome on the article page, as always--A2.com might be inspired to pay me if I drive up traffic.

For the discerning lady this holiday season

Burt's Bees Soap – I’ve always used a pretty stripped-down bar soap—Dial, Lever, whatever sample came in the mail, etc.  In the winter, however, I switch from rougher soaps to body wash to avoid drying out.  I was poking around looking for a midwinter replacement when I nonsensically splurged on a $4 of Burt’s Bees honey and jojoba.  You guys, I can’t stop showering.  It smells so delicious and makes my face so smooth, I feel like the Queen.

Stonyfield Mango Honey Yogurt – I think I hit it right this time: organic, no artificial colors or flavors, tastes like peaches and cream. Let’s hope the “limited time” warning stamped on the front proves untrue.  Om nom nom.

Lindt 70% Dark Chocolate – Boo.  Boo on you, Lindt, for changing your Intense Dark Chocolate recipe.  The needless addition of soy lecithin to emulsify my already perfect chocolate has rendered it creamy and uneatable.  If I wanted creamy chocolate, I’d get milk chocolate, as would any right-thinking human.  Keep your milk fat out of my cocoa.  I have to break up with you now, and test all new varieties of dark to find my perfect Emergency Chocolate.  I hope you’re happy.

OPI Only Gold for Me Nail Polish – I ended up with two bottles of this after a kind customer recommended it.  It really complements any color—dark burgundy or emerald green, especially—and when applied to the tips of polish toes can make even the sweat-shirted feel fancy.

Picnik – Well, paint me red.  A free photo editing service that doesn’t require registration, and the effects are awesome.  As a longstanding fan of free crap, I tip my hat.  My black-and-white photo wall grown ever more interesting thanks to the tints feature, and I cannot resist tweaking this page as well. 


The Big Bang Theory – Oh Sheldon Cooper, I could watch you for yours.  The way you sneer at the willfully unintelligent, the way you explain everything to the minutest detail, compelled by obsessive compulsion.  The way you are everything I would be if I hadn’t made friends.